baba n mak

miss them!

they were here since tuesday n now on their way to batu gajah.n i miss them already.
nothing could compare their love to me n siblings n also to their granchild,adam n masyitah.

before adam was born...baba always travel to ipoh to see n spent time with masyitah.
now...adam is here, baba travel all d way to penang to spent time with adam n masyitah.

sedih...sbb spttnya kami yg balik selalu jenguk ibu ayah.sy cemburu....
cemburu pd mereka yg dekat ngan kuarga.boleh balik bila senang.sy?senang pon susah nak balik.camner nak drive ngan adam?naik bas apatah lg...suami plak bekerja siang malam.

a collegue once told me that Allah lace us where we are suppose to be.where is d best place for.so...acceptance is important.
walaupon jauh dr mak ayah...sy ada suami anak n kuarga juga kat sini.
=( sy rindu....

offended

yes im easily offended.sometimes just by a simple word....

im offended if my love ones hardly smiles at home..thinking dat maybe i did stg wrong n they wont tell.
im offended when my loe ones barely speak at home...what more having a conversation with me.thinking dat maybe i have said stg wrong...

n now im offended...

because...

im fat.

i am fat...n have been here all my life i guess.kalo kurus masa kecik2 zaman sekolah rendah tu rasanya xleh kiranya sbb i cannot prove dat i used to be kurus dulu.
so...people who knows me had known me as a fat girl all my life.

i lied to many people when i said i don mind when they make jokes about me being fat...i lied to you if i say im used to the jokes.no...im OFFENDED!but i cannot say that i am because its like living in denial.

ramai oang xcaya saya kawin awal...dpt anak awal sbb all dat sounds impossible untuk oang genuk seperti saya ni.now, 11 monts after delivered...i am still fat.n i am still me.

if i hate myself...its because of you.who looks at me as if i am a monster who came from another world n eyeing me as if i don belong here.u think life is hard?!try being fat..