Monday, November 24, 2008

field trip

just got back from first visit to the east coast of malaysia left me shud i put it - tired.senang citer la kan.

a long road to kelantan sampai sakit punggung.wonder how delly and izzah and others tahan naik bas selama itu.2 hours ride from melaka to segamat pon membingungan.dgn rasa penat, dgn harapan dpt berehat di chalet yg dijanjikan...we were actualy brought to a rumah tumpangan by the driver.i started swearing and again i just went words can describe my feelings.the toilet was outside n we had to shared a room with 7 others.bukanla kisah sgt pasal sharing tuh tp xselesa hostel...dgn toilet kotornyer!yacth!

so basically i had a bad start.from dat moment..mmg rasa nak balik jer tuk carik mangkuk tingkat gagal.rasa malas sgt..skang ni nak menaip ttg journey 2 hari yg rasa cam seminggu ni pon xlarat dah.


Friday, November 21, 2008


i read a fren's blog and she said if you r no longer in his featured frens list...then pls understand the message.

betul..i totally agree with donno bout you but i always lead myelf to denial.i sumtimes cannot help from thinking about how stupid i am 10 years back.i cannot let go of my past although i really want to.i somtimes cried myself to sleep thinking about people who betrayed me.who made me look like fools.but...maybe its not their fault.maybe im d kind of girl who put 100% trust on others but not myself.i long understand that frens come n go but true frens will always stay with you.

its really time to forget....because i know he already does.oh happy now just dat i hate to end a relationship or a frenship with so many question in my head.dis is not losing contact - i don tink he will make any attempt to reconnect with me.well...its for the better.ALLAH knows what is best for us.HE has answered my prayers once by granting me with blessing and happiness with aman.thank you ALLAH...

losing u means hurts but no scars....

bye bye

sok sayer nak pegi kelantan..yuhuu!insyaALLAH...nebes gak nak travel in dis monsoon season.ut its my first visit to kelantan so i hope Allah help me along the way...

can't wait for next week....

manusia slalu menunggu sesuatu..kan?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

im cold ^_^

me is currently in KUANTAN!well, it may not be big for you - dat refers to anybody reading dis.but it is big for me.dis is my first visit to Kuantan.i didn't have the time to wander around kuantan because dis is a sudden visit made by my sister for her CNI weekend was only about CNI.huhu...we made a decision to spend a nite here becoz its not safe to travel at night with only women in cars + one young girl.

salary is coming in soon.i have made plans to travel around - starting with first visit to kelantan with zai on 21st.alhamdulillah...ader rezeki nak bjalan.dulu, slalu berangan je bila la nak dpt pegi melancong on my own nih.

owh...about CNI, went to their 19th anniversary convention.watched people received prizes includes hadiah melancong ke bali and pakej umrah sponsored fully by CNI.agak best jugak kan.most of them are teachers.pendapatan cam best jer.ramai yg guna produk CNI PERSONALLY.meaning, depa xcarik pon customer.cuma carik partner tuk keluarga besar CNI.dats what tehy called themselves.kuarga besar CNI.Siap ader lagu tema lg.hehe...rasa silly giler watching my sis finished the song with actions.she look determined though.

i don like d idea at first.i only prepared for a 2 days one nite journey and then kuantan and next detination is home.xsangka plak nak kena overnite.sip baik hotel tepi sungai.nice view...
off to seize the moment in my dream.hope to complete my list before holiday end.yuhuuu!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

post NO 50 - dis is how my holiday started

last friday, we had teacher's so cemerkap, i can't help but to put myself in deeper tense.the police case's really affected my being at school.d guru besar gave lampoon statement about d case to me.saying how i was not ready to be d mother - yes, not to dat i was not the homerun teacher for year besar doesnt know pasal aku ni homerun teacher tuk tahun tiga.bukankah aku jemput dier menjamu nasik ayam di kelas?!my kids was really good.xpernah pon ader masalah.cukup2la dengan pandangan sinis dr gpk mengatakan dier pening memikirkan hal yg berlaku di sekolah n fobia tgk budak nakal...i cried inside.people saw me smiling without knowing how scared dis 4 monts old teacher.i was really devastated.pls people, i neva tot those kind of things is gonna happen.

in addition to the above pandangan serong statement kindda look, i've made one more mistake.haih...bad omen neva what to leave me just my girls is moving to a nearby school next year.she was one of the brightest in class.syg sekali...gpk telah berpesan bahawa aku perlu menyiapkan fail peribadinya untuk dier bawa ke sekolah baru.i define that instruction as complete the file and give it to her.and so i did...and plus another sarcastic look plus not talking to me.i was supposed to wait for the mother to come and pick it up and officially take her daughter out of the school.i feel like cursing and found no suitable words to define my feeling.subhanallah....sorry wan, i know i carried ur integrity but now its personal.cikgu, im nothing like my brother.he is a great teacher but im still learning and pls believe me i can do better if u just give me another chance. year, im gonna teach year 1 and 2 and that is 4 classes in total.alhamdulillah.

im off to shah alam accompanying my sis for her CNI meeting.i was mentally tired.we were lost last nite.after 30 min wandering around glan marie, i pretending dat i was sleeping.i hate the tense and impatient.better doze off rite?half and hour later, we end at tesco with my sis's fren calling for his fren.hey!naer xcall earlier?i stayed in the car for one hour waiting the meeting to end.mind you,it was 12 am.and he brought us to a mamak stall talking more with his fren about CNI.aku xminat la weh.xpyhla nak persuade.aku buat muka stress.n bagi stress tempat keje as the sambung plak promote product lain.haih...kol 3 baru sampai umah.flat..

not a gud way to start d holiday that we have been waiting for kan?i know all dugaan n hikmah is one of the way for ALLAH to show HIS love for us.everyday we preech kita serahkan hidup dan mati kita pada NYA,and dis is small kan.ALLAH xkan uji kita kalo DIA tau kita xmampu.i know i really need to be strong and more focus at work.saat ni buat aku teringat pasal mdm.low.we need to double check on anything, everything.take everything down.even a short be a teacher is not easy especially when ur superior has lost the trust.i believe dis is temporary.with all your support and doa, INSYA-ALLAH, i can get through dis.thank you all.

p/s - aku tengok sjak kematian and it really catched me.sangat sakit.terkesan...byk yg perlu kita buat tp berkesempatan kah kita?kalau esok tibanya ajal?kwn2, marilah kita bersedia menghadapi peperiksaan agung di alam barzakh.dan semoga kita selamat di dunia n akhirat.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


last monday, a boy fell in class ad injured himslef.teacher on duty brought him to the clinic and he received 3 stitches for the minor injuri.when d father was told about the incident, he threatened the school dat he would make a police report and sue the school.

i was grinning and smiling at at school dat day because it was my 24th was supposed to be the most happiest day of my 2008.i celebrated my birthday with the teachers and my headmistress and also held a year end class gathering.little dat i noe dat it was the worst day of all.

the boy fell 5 minutes before my class i busy attending my class gathering, and other pupils were attending the hari anugerah rehersal. d father insist dat it was the teacher's fault - in this case it was MY fault.haih...why did he choose 10 n0vember - 845 am to pay tolak2 with his fren?

i was so shock as the bg said dat i shud be responsible when the father made the police report.teachers call and asked question, help me to create excuses and advice.thank you..
now, everywhere i go, d gpk will ask y am i not in class and i shud be in class monitoring the kids pdhal it is my free time.stress.dr police report n dr kesannya.ditekan dr setiap sudut.

im asking for ur support and doa..may everything stop just here.police said it was not dat serious and they have done their part.i really hope dat the father stop thinking about sueing the school and i can continue may day at school like any other days.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

count down

arini kamis
esok jumaat
kemudian sabtu

Monday, November 03, 2008

Duit plastic

its november.a lot of things is happening in dis november..most important thing,salary is going to be in!
ha...gaji belom masuk ader plak suh apply credit card la, personal loan la.hehe...ntahla.duit sgt berharga to me now.ini pon wish list still xdpt dpenuhi.ader yg perlu dpotong atau mungkin hanya akan dtangguhkan..

Sunday, November 02, 2008

wake up call

i received a call from my collegue asking me where i am.i was so surprise!she sounded like mak tam on d fon.hehe...sorry kak mona.i only recognize her when she said she's having the PSS at her house today and im invited.hehe...we are neighbours.not next-to-me neigbour but around-the-hood kind of neighbour.
dis call has made me thinkin bout early on sunday morning!i know...
but actually, im thinkin about how i love my job.yes, the kids are quite tough to handle but im getting ok with.they wave at me when they saw my father came to pick me up.say bye teacher.look at the watch and say good afternoon teacher.blushing when i saw them helping their parents at pasar mlm or paddling around the kampung.dats great isn't it?they did stg bad at you in class, but they get neutral when they are outside.baba kata mungkin dalam kelas dier takut ke? maybe...sayer tak garang pn sbb sumtimes 1s 2 just never listen.ko tengking la, siap ugut ngan rotan.siap cubit 2 3 budak just to show how serious i am pon dier buat bodoh jer.
teachers?my collegues work hard and play hard.they do their job seriously and hope u-as a new teacher to do better.kalo x, the magic word will be uttered ko cikgu baru.jangan amik cuti byk sgt.belum confirm lg.tanda ktas jangan sambil lewa.bla...bla..bla.byk nasihat and they love to be synical too.i've been warn by kak binah dat one mistake u make here will cost u maybe a year of synical conversation.but you r never left behind.4 monts ago, when i came in...the gpk HEM knew my brother.she always come to me and said patutla awak ader muka cam kacuk2 sikit.adik cikgu redhuan rupanya.awk ni apa?arab eh? and she ponder these tot and question while picit memicit my whole body.she huged me before she left.the teacher's room was never left with silent. there are always people talking, laughing and discussing and THERE ARE ALWAYS FOOD ON THE TABLE!kak binah keep reminding me dat im on the diet everytime she saw me sitting at the corner.hehe...thanks kak binah.
yes, school is great.i basically knew now how every teacher n pupils shud be approach.yes, sekolah ni mmg ramai budak pemulihan.and they need attention.and i need to figure just how i need to overcome their lazyness to school.mungkin dia ingat dia dah tau suma.despite the kerani (dier suka dtg suka dgn mood swing yg xmenentu and throw it at the teacher)...everything is alhamdulillah.just a normal school and holiday is coming and im all excited.2 more weeks to go and i hope i can still continue to teach the level one pupils.

Saturday, November 01, 2008


being a homerun teacher for year3 class has made me helpless.exam week has over and now teachers are busy with marks.i've got all the marks for all subjects for my class.i was here and there chasing for marks, looking for other teacher for their class's marks and things were getting better or shud i put in 'better'. we need to collect nilam data from july until november.actually, the teacher has told me week before and i have already checked my pupils' entries.surprise...surprise!there were only 8-on the average- entries only.come to worst, dats is only for august and november.yes...the entries started on august.there were also some with no record at all!what am i to write?being smart...i adjusted the number to 2 entries each monts.huhu....

yes, dis week is all about numbers.i know closing the register is not that complicated.not to me class was separated on early, we have 2 register -obviously.whats complicated about this is, it was done 4 months before the school end and the number from thousand has decreased to hundreds.x logik kan!then the PAR bgtau kena tutup bulan 9.ignored august.ok....i took my calculator and start counting.well...the reason i did not pursued with account was numbers.too many to add.u need to make sure that the number in row one is telly with number in column one.which...i sould find because jumlah dr bulan lepas xder.i was doing dis at year 1s class's and i ignored them totally.
1. teacher...boleh lukis?
yes...u may.
2.teacher...tgk nizam, dia xmintak izin
3. teacher...may i go to the to toilet?
haih...yes u may.i don have time to correct u.

aesha, remember ADAB?i have tons of those on my table.huhu....
next tuesday, there will be a public speaking competition between PPSMI teachers.i had prepared a simple speach for our representative as im gonna be the guru pengiring and i also got a job for my mom.she is going to cater the food for the day.alhamdulillah...ader jugak rezeki.
since mak benti niaga, dapur yg kecik tuh never stop working.thank you ALLAH..sementara xder gaji ni kan, tu je la yg dpt tolong.