Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
its been a week so im a little worry.maybe its nothing but im still worry.
i usually sweat a lot...walopon cuma naik tangga, atau dok dlm bilik yg tidak berkipas for 3 minutes.last wed and today when i went for a morning walk.i walk for about and hour n i did not sweat.panas tp xberpeluh...
balik umah...i did house chores for 2 hours, no sweat.
aghhh!its killing me
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
eg: 8.8.08 - on dis particular date my one n only bro is getting married and so does my best fren.school gave me a day off n i decided to go to anne's.i went ewan's nikah ceremony as i tot dats is the most touching moment rite?letting ur bro go.d next morning, everybody was asking me questions.y did i took a day off t go for a frens weding instead of my one and only bro?i started to feel guilty and berbelah bahagi bcoz i really wanna go to anne's wedding.after some time and some kata2 yg xsedap d dengar oleh some of my family member, i cried n decided to go to my bro's wedding.i hate dat.( i cried bcoz i have make a decision but easily back off because of others n i already prepared myself for d decision i made)
so...back to today's contemplating session.
we (me, my bro n wife n ema) went to tint our windows.decision has been made on sunday nite and i have counted my budget.bcoz, ewan said dat d least i shud spare is 250.ok...decision made.orange is gonna look cool!i was excited when wednesday come.dat is dis morning...
my bro call from the workshop dat i can get a gud tinted film with the least 250.ok...prepared.
when i reach d workshop, kak sue was watching her car done by the workers and all 6 windows cost her 450.this is where it begin...
i started to feel berbelah bahagi sbb 450 tuh!i cud buy a new hp n hantaran some more.i sit..take a deep breath n look at kak sue's car. dier baru amik semalam.hehe...
ewan was sudgesting dis n dat.i almost cry n baba keep asking to send him home.jd...sayer masuk keta n start d car.almost forfeit!im so weak..im 24 and im weak...im a teacher n i still have problems making decision for myself.aman is rite..sayer blom cukup matang.
so...did i do it?yes...with 350 for 6 windows.i choose a lighter colour.poor orange.sorry dear...but it looks good on u.n 4 of us tinted our cars.bengkel sibuk ari ni kerana kami.3 myvs n 1 viva.ema treated us with walls ice cream before going back.tauke geleng kepala sambil kata "wah..skang suma pon mkn ais krim"..hehe.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
3) what do you like that picture
y do they bother to seek advise while they know how things will turn out?
or they never n just go against d world just to prove they r rite while they r obviously wrong?!
ps : do not let someone into ur life out of choices.
last weekend went to kl with aman to see his mother.on our way...saw mawi and ekin nikah ceremony was live on tv, so i decided to listen to it on d radio.sempat la mendengar khutbah nikahnyer.made me nervous..hehe.
and im glad i have aman's mother as my future mother in law.so far la kan...she bought me a gelang.yay..i know u were so jeles of me aman.sorry..ur mother loves me more than you.hehe.we also went to tempah baju melayu for aman.the already-made-sample baju melayu was so cantik.ader sulam yg sgt kemas dekat leher,kocek baju and lengan.aman yg xsuka pd benda remeh can2 pon tpikat kan?i manage to persue him to add the sulam things on his baju melayu.can't wait to see the result.
dats d end of our visit to jalan tar and masjid india.aman was to go back immidiately and im heading to serdang to anne's house.tp..he was worried to leave me and so he tag along to make sure i arrive safely at anne's house.thanx dear...if he wasn't there, i donno what wud happen.i got lost a few times, it was almost dark and my first time driving in kl.poor aman coz he has to take a taxi to go to pudu.tp...dah biasa kan?xkisah kan?hehe...
today, orange dpt adik.hehe...2 lg.
p/s: caner duit bleh abih dgn cepat without us realizing it?!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
2 dugaan bila nak dpt sesuatu..when i badly want something, it will alway turn the other way around.ALLAH sedang menduga sayer...tp ALLAH juga sudah membuka jalan bg saya.no matter how hard it is...i refuse give up.but need to try really hard not to give up.huhu
few of neigbours been asking about tuition class.
what do u think?
how much shud i charge?
what shud i teach and how?
tp leh buat extra money skit kan.i really need it...there's a lot of things to buy!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
sesampai di putrajaya...i went to alamanda and sight seeing around putrajaya on wednesday nite.sgt indah...my sis and cousin took d opportunity 2 look for part time job.it was i who persuade them actually.i saw d advertiement at mcd..and they started to look for it at every pit stop.hehe...ingat lg masa keje kedai potostat ngan uncle.thanx uncle..sbb keje part time 2, dpt beli hp sendr.3310 was 4rat at dat time.arwah dah 3310 tuh.
the next day...brought my cousins to watch movies.i wanted to watch twilight but i have 2 under age with me.so decided to watch cicakman 2..not bad.we adults decided to came back for twilight pas anta d twins home.hehe...asik kuar masuk parking jer cik orange eh.twilight SGT BEST!d hero sgt ensem...sgt cute..romantik..protective..bla..bla.sian kak long xdpt tgk..xper.leh tgk en.alyas lain kali eh.
on friday...bgerak ke perak plak.penat jugak sbnanyer.dok dlm keta jer kan.baba won't let me drive plak tuh.sampai umah mak long dah kol 12.a lil bit of catching up, drag us to 2 am.and we had walimatul urus to attend on sat.penat..tp xkisahla kan.baba missed his family...my family too kan.d host was baba's cousin...d family he grew up in.rasa sgt asing sbb suma muka hindustan.cantik n hensem.hehe...they have 2 separate khemah for men and women.hanya lagu nasyid yg dpasang.sgt islamic...owh...photographer belah laki sgt adorable.bukan ensem eh...adorable.
back to putrajaya on sunday...ke alamanda lg.baba nak buat jamuan.ops...lupa lak.my sis dpt keje di a&w.alhamdulillah...so, she'll be staying there insyaALLAH for the next 7 monts.by dis time..emosi sy xstabil.haih...mmg xleh dok umah oang sampai lebih dr 3 ari.HOMESICK!i miss my bed...bathroom and toilet, lagu washing machine, d stairs, d tv etc.
now...i love the scent of my room.a bit messy tp xkisahla kan...it feels good to be home.n i can't wait for sat to come.dah sbln xjumpa aman.we'll be going to KL.AGAIN!im enjoying every seconds of my hols.a bit worry though...i can't remember how to work nemore.teruk kan?!
hazim and hazirah
Monday, December 08, 2008
rasa cam....ntah.xleh define perasaan masa pegang perut tu.listening to all her story on her pregnancy, its four months now...wa!sayer sgt takut to get pregnant.bukanla sampai xnak anak eh..just kesusahan dan kepayahan tuh makes me feels like giving up already.
mak kata i was born with my head was left inside for quite some time.sian mak...but i still can't stop hurting her.subhanallaj...if only i can tell her upfront about how sorry i am.
im bored...its raya n its raining.not heavily tp ujan renyai ni dah berlarutan selama 2 hari.baba is worried to leave the house bcoz dier takut banjir.dis rain is making me hungry tp xleh mkn bbyk so i really feel like eating stg sweet n tasty but i just donno what it is.arrrggggghhhhhhhh!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
mak cried again.haih...
i yell at my sis coz she kept taking my belonging without my permission.
aman said maybe im not matured enuf.yer..word of d day, xmatang.
can someone tell me what mature actually is?
does it mean dat we r capable in making d right decision?
does it meant that we are ble to control our anger?
Friday, December 05, 2008
i have so many things to say and i dont know where to start
or maybe i cud start by saying alhamdulillah for all HIS blessings and may it continues for d rest of my life.
1. gaji dah masuk n i have already save half of it for may 2009
2. beli almai baju sbb baba kata xperlu peti ais
3. orange is here...but i have no frens to wander around with me
ah...point to ponder.how can one minute we love someone and suddenly hates him so much?!
Monday, November 24, 2008
a long road to kelantan sampai sakit punggung.wonder how delly and izzah and others tahan naik bas selama itu.2 hours ride from melaka to segamat pon membingungan.dgn rasa penat, dgn harapan dpt berehat di chalet yg dijanjikan...we were actualy brought to a rumah tumpangan by the driver.i started swearing and again i just went speechless.no words can describe my feelings.the toilet was outside n we had to shared a room with 7 others.bukanla kisah sgt pasal sharing tuh tp xselesa giler.cam hostel...dgn toilet kotornyer!yacth!
so basically i had a bad start.from dat moment..mmg rasa nak balik jer dah.shopping?misi tuk carik mangkuk tingkat gagal.rasa malas sgt..skang ni nak menaip ttg journey 2 hari yg rasa cam seminggu ni pon xlarat dah.
Friday, November 21, 2008
betul..i totally agree with this.tp...i donno bout you but i always lead myelf to denial.i sumtimes cannot help from thinking about how stupid i am 10 years back.i cannot let go of my past although i really want to.i somtimes cried myself to sleep thinking about people who betrayed me.who made me look like fools.but...maybe its not their fault.maybe im d kind of girl who put 100% trust on others but not myself.i long understand that frens come n go but true frens will always stay with you.
its really time to forget....because i know he already does.oh hell...im happy now neway.it just dat i hate to end a relationship or a frenship with so many question in my head.dis is not losing contact - i don tink he will make any attempt to reconnect with me.well...its for the better.ALLAH knows what is best for us.HE has answered my prayers once by granting me with blessing and happiness with aman.thank you ALLAH...
losing u means nothing.it hurts but no scars....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
salary is coming in soon.i have made plans to travel around - starting with first visit to kelantan with zai on 21st.alhamdulillah...ader rezeki nak bjalan.dulu, slalu berangan je bila la nak dpt pegi melancong on my own nih.
owh...about CNI, went to their 19th anniversary convention.watched people received prizes includes hadiah melancong ke bali and pakej umrah sponsored fully by CNI.agak best jugak kan.most of them are teachers.pendapatan cam best jer.ramai yg guna produk CNI PERSONALLY.meaning, depa xcarik pon customer.cuma carik partner tuk keluarga besar CNI.dats what tehy called themselves.kuarga besar CNI.Siap ader lagu tema lg.hehe...rasa silly giler watching my sis finished the song with actions.she look determined though.
i don like d idea at first.i only prepared for a 2 days one nite journey and then kuantan and next detination is home.xsangka plak nak kena overnite.sip baik hotel tepi sungai.nice view...
off to seize the moment in my dream.hope to complete my list before holiday end.yuhuuu!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
in addition to the above pandangan serong statement kindda look, i've made one more mistake.haih...bad omen neva what to leave me just yet.one my girls is moving to a nearby school next year.she was one of the brightest in class.syg sekali...gpk telah berpesan bahawa aku perlu menyiapkan fail peribadinya untuk dier bawa ke sekolah baru.i define that instruction as complete the file and give it to her.and so i did...and plus another sarcastic look plus not talking to me.i was supposed to wait for the mother to come and pick it up and officially take her daughter out of the school.i feel like cursing and found no suitable words to define my feeling.subhanallah....sorry wan, i know i carried ur integrity but now its personal.cikgu, im nothing like my brother.he is a great teacher but im still learning and pls believe me i can do better if u just give me another chance.
owh...next year, im gonna teach year 1 and 2 and that is 4 classes in total.alhamdulillah.
im off to shah alam accompanying my sis for her CNI meeting.i was mentally tired.we were lost last nite.after 30 min wandering around glan marie, i pretending dat i was sleeping.i hate the tense and impatient.better doze off rite?half and hour later, we end at tesco with my sis's fren calling for his fren.hey!naer xcall earlier?i stayed in the car for one hour waiting the meeting to end.mind you,it was 12 am.and he brought us to a mamak stall talking more with his fren about CNI.aku xminat la weh.xpyhla nak persuade.aku buat muka stress.n bagi stress tempat keje as the alasan.eh...dier sambung plak promote product lain.haih...kol 3 baru sampai umah.flat..
not a gud way to start d holiday that we have been waiting for kan?i know all dugaan n hikmah is one of the way for ALLAH to show HIS love for us.everyday we preech kita serahkan hidup dan mati kita pada NYA,and dis is small kan.ALLAH xkan uji kita kalo DIA tau kita xmampu.i know i really need to be strong and more focus at work.saat ni buat aku teringat pasal mdm.low.we need to double check on anything, everything.take note...jot everything down.even a short msg.to be a teacher is not easy especially when ur superior has lost the trust.i believe dis is temporary.with all your support and doa, INSYA-ALLAH, i can get through dis.thank you all.
p/s - aku tengok sjak kematian and it really catched me.sangat sakit.terkesan...byk yg perlu kita buat tp berkesempatan kah kita?kalau esok tibanya ajal?kwn2, marilah kita bersedia menghadapi peperiksaan agung di alam barzakh.dan semoga kita selamat di dunia n akhirat.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
i was grinning and smiling at at school dat day because it was my 24th birthday.it was supposed to be the most happiest day of my 2008.i celebrated my birthday with the teachers and my headmistress and also held a year end class gathering.little dat i noe dat it was the worst day of all.
the boy fell 5 minutes before my class ended.as i busy attending my class gathering, and other pupils were attending the hari anugerah rehersal. d father insist dat it was the teacher's fault - in this case it was MY fault.haih...why did he choose 10 n0vember - 845 am to pay tolak2 with his fren?
i was so shock as the bg said dat i shud be responsible when the father made the police report.teachers call and asked question, help me to create excuses and advice.thank you..
now, everywhere i go, d gpk will ask y am i not in class and i shud be in class monitoring the kids pdhal it is my free time.stress.dr police report n dr kesannya.ditekan dr setiap sudut.
im asking for ur support and doa..may everything stop just here.police said it was not dat serious and they have done their part.i really hope dat the father stop thinking about sueing the school and i can continue may day at school like any other days.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
ha...gaji belom masuk ader plak suh apply credit card la, personal loan la.hehe...ntahla.duit sgt berharga to me now.ini pon wish list still xdpt dpenuhi.ader yg perlu dpotong atau mungkin hanya akan dtangguhkan..
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
being a homerun teacher for year3 class has made me helpless.exam week has over and now teachers are busy with marks.i've got all the marks for all subjects for my class.i was here and there chasing for marks, looking for other teacher for their class's marks and things were getting better or shud i put in 'better'. we need to collect nilam data from july until november.actually, the teacher has told me week before and i have already checked my pupils' entries.surprise...surprise!there were only 8-on the average- entries only.come to worst, dats is only for august and november.yes...the entries started on august.there were also some with no record at all!what am i to write?being smart...i adjusted the number to 2 entries each monts.huhu....
yes, dis week is all about numbers.i know closing the register is not that complicated.not to me though.my class was separated on early august.so, we have 2 register -obviously.whats complicated about this is, it was done 4 months before the school end and the number from thousand has decreased to hundreds.x logik kan!then the PAR bgtau kena tutup bulan 9.ignored august.ok....i took my calculator and start counting.well...the reason i did not pursued with account was numbers.too many to add.u need to make sure that the number in row one is telly with number in column one.which...i sould find because jumlah dr bulan lepas xder.i was doing dis at year 1s class's and i ignored them totally.
1. teacher...boleh lukis?
2.teacher...tgk nizam, dia xmintak izin
3. teacher...may i go to the to toilet?
haih...yes u may.i don have time to correct u.
aesha, remember ADAB?i have tons of those on my table.huhu....
next tuesday, there will be a public speaking competition between PPSMI teachers.i had prepared a simple speach for our representative as im gonna be the guru pengiring and i also got a job for my mom.she is going to cater the food for the day.alhamdulillah...ader jugak rezeki.
since mak benti niaga, dapur yg kecik tuh never stop working.thank you ALLAH..sementara xder gaji ni kan, tu je la yg dpt tolong.
Monday, October 27, 2008
But before we can go there, is there something we're waiting for?
In order to chase our dreams, we can't have a reason to run away
We've got to go, to that far away summer's day
If we find it tomorrow, we can't sigh
Because like a boat that opposes the stream we have to walk straight on
In a place worn down by sadness something called a miracle is waiting
Yet we are still searching for the sunflower that grows at the end of spring
The warrior who awaits the morning light before he can clasp it with red nails,
his tears glitter and fall
Even if we've grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing just go forward, just a little further
As the rainclouds break the wet streets sparkling
Although it brings only darkness
A powerful, powerful light helps push us to walk on
Sunday, October 26, 2008
...me n ceno...
ona n ceno
YA ALLAH, KU MOHON AMPUN DARI MU ANDAI RINTIHAN KU SEPERTI AKU TIDAK BERSYUKUR DENGAN APA YANG TELAH KAU KURNIAKAN.TAPI AKU BENAR2 BERHARAP SUATU HARI NANTI AKU DAPAT JADI INSAN YG LEBIH BAIK LG...LEBIH BAIK DARI SEMAMALAM AGAR AKU DAPAT MENERIMA APA SAHAJA DUGAAN YG KABERIKAN DENGAN RASA SYUKUR DAN TABAH.SETIAP PENYAKIT ITU PENYEMBUH DOSA DAN AKU REDHA Y ALLAH KERANA MMG SELAMA INI TELAH BYK PERKARA YANG AKU LAKUKAN YANG TELAH MEMBAWA KEPADA KEMURKAAN MU. TP AKU PERCAYA BAHAWA KAU MASIH MENYAYANGI KU...KAU MASIH MAHU MEMBERI AKU PELUANG.AKU BERSYUKUR KERANA TELAH BYK DOA KU KAU MAKBULKAN.HAJAT KU KAU TUNAIKAN.AKU HARAP BENA YA ALLAH, KAU MAHUKAN KOTAKAN DOA KU YG SATU INI.HANYA PADA MU KU LETAK HARAP.AMIN....
Saturday, October 25, 2008
i donno if what i did is wrong...dat is marking according to he scheme as all the teacher said dat only i can save my pupils from failing.how can i help them if they wrote nonsense on the paper?!its obvious...i2 pon aku kasik sau pada budah dajah satu yg salin semula clue words for note expension tuh.but...still not gud enuf.they don understand a word.have i failed?i don tink so...
but fotunately, year 3 pupils did beyond my expectation.half of the class manage to write good an meaningfull sentences.god job dear!
i hope my year 1 pupils will developed their interest in learning n i really hope dat i can be a better teacher too.after reading fauzan's post on how learning was supposed to be fun, i can help bu to wonder.....am i dat kind of teacher?a teacher who makes learning as fun as main ting ting or congkak or such....sigh!
Friday, October 24, 2008
~ i'm 24
2. Are you single?
~ happily engaged...thank you.
3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
~ i hope n pray its gonna be 25.not more than dat pls
4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now??
~ insyaAllah. with all blessings
5. If not, who do you want to marry?
~ no idea
6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional wedding?
~ traditional + garden.haha..berangan.
7. Your ideal motif?
~ green i think..or gray wirh some black lace...or soft brown.maybe...
8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
~emmm.....tempat yg ada pantai.kalo dpt g zoo taiping je pon ok kot.haha!
9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?
~emm...don have dat much frens.people barely know me.i donno..little.dats all i can say.
10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
~ simple one will do
11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??
12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
~ 2 layer of ice-cream chocolate n vanilla cake
13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
~ kat umah l abest..meriah.
14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
~ get married? evening..
15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
~ outdoors indeed
16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
~ emm...no need la.hehe
18. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding??
20. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
21. What age do you want to get married?
~ dah jwb kan?
22. Describe your ideal husband/wife
~ someone like him...sgt penyabar...n tenang
23. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
~ mkn pakai tgn pon bole...
24. champagne or red wine?
~none of the above
25. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
~ days afte...
26. Money or household item?
27. Who will pay for the bills?
~ us la....saper lg?
28. Are you ready for married life?
~ guess so
29. Do u think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
~ definately a yes...
30. Will u always be true to your wife/husband
~ insyaALLAH...I will
31. How many kids do u like?
32. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
~ baru la...
33. Will u celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?
34. What kind of cuisine would u like for ur wedding?~
what define kenduri kawin kinds of food
35. Will u record ur honeymoon in a cd or dvd?
~ just picture
36.. Whose wedding plans would you like to know next???
Choose 6 person.
started my daily routine as usual yesterday.we left the house at 645 to SK Kampong Tengah.i was at the back seat, deep in tots when baba suddenly slow down said...oppps, xsempat.i tot it was the traffic lite n suddenly i heard a crack.it sounded like a car hit a papan n it breked.i looked out of the window n saw a cat!tergulung mcm tenggiling n it looked painful!sgt sakit...sgt sgt sakit!yg lebih menyayat hati ialah kucing tu mcm tgh...tgh..how can i say dis ekh?ttgh...menggelitik.sort of.dgn keadaan dier yg bergulung mcm tenggiling, i felt like crying n i almost cry of d tots dat maybe dia patah tulang belakang n went bergulung.argh!sakit!
n i could not let it out of me yesterday n today.n i guess d cat will stay for d week...sakitnyer!
dear cat....im sorry i could not safe u n i know baba tried.may you be in peace.
Monday, October 20, 2008
1st paper - b.melayu
salin semula pon xdpt?haih...dats d fact.they spell klinik like dis - KELENEK!SUBHANALLAH...itu soklan bm yer.belum lagi bi.bleh la buat ayat mereka bermain guli menggunakan congkak!pening..
2nd paper - matematik
worst!budak dajah satu tanya macam mana nak buat dr soklan 1 sampai 20!they don read d q langsung.yes...d q is in english!total failure.tp dajah satu kan...budak2 baru kuar pemulihan plak tuh.lg la..caner nak jwb soklan bi nih!16 - 7 pon dier jwb sunday, monday etc.huih!
in a nutshell...mmg xdpt la depa jwb note expension aku nanti
Friday, October 17, 2008
took a cycle around the neighbourhood....i love the breeze.kids were playing, birds were flying.xtau nak define tp i had a great evening.sgt nyaman n aman.
mak was next door.visiting our neighbour.yes...today is only about my neighbour.she was a teacher.its almost a year now- she was diagnosed with cancer early 2008.im not sure what kind of cancer.last ramadhan....mak cooked for her - sometimes la.when she's craving for stg. yesterday, the doc told her dat kemoterapi is useless now.she had been to kemo for quite some time now n pakar at pantai had refer her case to the general hospital juat to hear dat time is up for her.there is nothing dat anybody can do...subhanallah.
im so thankful dat i can still feel the breeze of the air n listen to the birds chirpping on the air.
i hope dat we can all pray for her, to enlighten her burden, so dat she wont suffer dat much.
dis is a point to ponder...for anybody who read dis, bleh ke soklan note expension dkeluarkan untuk pelajar2 tahap satu?sila beri komen anda!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Every question is referring to 1 person.
1. What is the relationship of you and him?
love of his life ...hehe.i hope so
2. Your 5 impressions towards him.
tp sgt pendiam
always know what to do
3. The most memorable things he had done for you.
most eh....anta rombongan meminang kot.huuuu
4. The most memorable things he have said to you?
he does not want to loose me...
5. If he becomes your lover, you will...
love and treasure him
6. If he becomes your enemy, you will...
just forget about him i guess
7. If he becomes your lover, he has to improve on...
maybe he needs to be more mature sometimes.sbb dier suka tonton kartun n sometimes he just got carried away.pls eh abg...i love cartoon too tough
8. If he becomes your enemy, the reason is...
he choose to be with someone else
9. The most desirable thing to do on him is?
10The overall impression of him is...
he is a life saver...a soulmate
11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
isn't dis suppose to be bout dat person u choose to talk about?emm...how do people feel about me?frankly, i always tot they are not comfortable being around me.im no joker..i love to talk - empty talk dat is.am not beauty with brain...xsistematik n d list goes.
12. The character of you for yourself is?
im a paranoia...love talking to myself...easily got panic...but i always give my very best
13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
sila rujuk soalan 13
14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is?
i can only think of myself as izan azahirah
15. For the people who care about and likes you, say something about them.
thanks for u concern n i like u too
16. Ten people to tag:
i don have any name thus dis is it eh...
one of my pupils was absent for 7 days.one of her friend said maybe she was sick but he saw her palying around their neighbourhood joyfully.well...i guess maybe sick was just excuses.today is her seventh day off and i ask the HEM shud i issue anything because non of her parents or family member - she has a bro in year 4, come to see me to explain her being and the HEM said, yes. issue warnng letter.
i went to see the guru besar for her signature...punggah fail dlm almari to file the school copy and suddenly HEM called me and said we have to cancel the letter because she was the YDP of the PTA's daughter.and the HEM said dis has happen several time.
whay don't they take any action just because she was somebody's daughter (anak pengerusi PIBG jer pon - kalo anak datuk ntah caner ah) n d fact that she has been doing it several time?
N ONCE AGAIN, AKU XKENAL WHO'S MY SUPERIOR IS.HEHE.....
Monday, October 13, 2008
i was so fresh up today...my stomach is aching.i donno if it is gastric or lapa...i cannot sleep coz its raining outside n i love rain!so..i started reading john grisham.need to finish reading it by tomorrow so i could return it to ain.while i was reading...my sister got back to pick up baba and made their move to kuala kangsar.i managed to catch her n ask for her wireless port.
i was browsing the net n decided to talk to few stranger.just a plain talk.everybody start asking x bosan ke dok umah xkejer.ok...i told them i work from 7 to 2 5 days a week.ttba...ader one kerek guy asking me about how does it feel bout being a teacher.FYI...masa ni lom start kerek lg.
soklan ni yg adala permulaan kekerekan dier..
awk kenal x KPPM?
so i was...kppm?aper tuh?kpm saye tau la.
ish...xkanla dah 3 bulan kejer cikgu awk xtau nama ketua pengarah apa ntah malaysia.pttnyer masa awk blaja awk dah tau dah.
aku pon dgn naive reply....kan.xptt kan keje tanpa tau saper oang atasan...hehe.
so i ask...awk kejer mana? (he seems to be well verse pasal our salary rate - DG41 n temuduga n all the acronim)
kan sayer dah kater...awk xkenal saper kppm?
owh..kalo sayer xkenal saper kppm awk xleh jwb ah soklan sayer?awk ni saper?anak dier?anak sedara dier?atau anak sepu dier?2 pupu?
dier jwb...kalo sayer ckp pon awk xkan percaya.sayer dah amik IP address awk n rekod.
eh...dier ingat aku takut!hanya kerana aku xtau nama KPPM!
SENGAL GILER MAMAT NI!
aman was here for raya visit and i finally have the opportunity to introduced him to my dearly frens. mak was busy with orders - alhamdulillah, walopon dah benti meniaga, ramai jugak oang dtg umah untuk tempahan makanan.especially for raya ni kan...maybe mak could think of opening a catering for minor jamuan and cook at home with minor complaints tough - our dapur is smaller than before.
can't wait for more great weekend!4 more weeks till school holidays!
owh...did u guys watch ayat2 cinta on tv3 last friday?i texted yana n ceno and they said its totally different from the book n dat made me feel like buying the book.but...it still teached me something.
its a well known fact that poligamy is not easy.adil n mampu bukan dukur dgn material ajer.mampu ker nak kongsi cinta n perasaan?walopon d first wife kata dier sanggup bermadu for the sake of the husband (in this story - to safe the husband from being sentenced to death) tp mesti ada rasa sedih bila tpaksa berkongsi.
we always wish and pray dat Allah will grant us with a good jodoh.one dat always obey His order - semayang 5 waktu, hormat orang tua, hormat diri kita etc - a man dat can guide us on the right path.i bet all of you are familiar with LELAKI YANG BAIK UNTUK WANITA YANG BAIK AND VICE VERSA. dis is for u n me, untuk dpt jodoh yg baik perlula kita menilai diri.baik kah kita?n dats when redha came.bila kita telah dpertemukan dgn jodoh kita...terima la baik buruk dier instead of complaining n wish dier jadik org lain.
a reminder for me n you...
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
last onday, i went to 1S...i ask the usual question.
me : ok class, what day is today?
me: can u spell monday for me?
pupils:M A N - MAN D A Y- DAY....MANDAY!
me: no,its monday - MONDAY!
amarul aiman:bukanla teacher kan manday, mestilah MAN bukan mon!
hish...how to explain?au terus ignore dier n continue my lesson.hehe...
when for my frens open house - SHE'S PREGNANT!more anak buah coming.she's like a sister to me and im happy for her.congrats eh ain!mesti anak ko comel like u n husband.
we'r all back to work n there's only me n mak n baba at home.did i mention they has stop their business?yeah..n there's basically nothig that they can do at home.i don noe..maybe out of boredom n tense, mak keeps staring at me with....no definition kind of look and commented everything that i do.i know...deep in her heart how she wish iam the black sheep.she keeps mentioning dat she was always woried about me going to kl rather than HER.no mak...i will never do something that will hurt u n baba.altough u barely called me when i was away...u guys are still close to my heart. i hate myself whenever we ended up quarelling over small matters because i pray hard everyday dat their sadness will go away.now im contributing plak...haih.
looking forward for weekend!
Friday, October 03, 2008
neway, i had a just nice RAYA.not good but ok...when to visit haira irdina in kluang and celebrating with new sister is great.
whats bad about raya dis year is....i cannot celebrate it with my frens.haih....sad
they r all busy with their new family.NO MORE DUIT RAYA FOR ME!obviously....
i love baking n i baked 4 types of cookies for raya.not much but bole la kan..i considered dat as improvements as our cookies only made by N*** all dis years.i know mom is proud of me.hehe...plus, i sew my own baju raya.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
its a busy day for me today..mom wake me up early in the morning to go to tHe market to buy ingredients for our raya menu.guess what?i met - well not actually met, i just saw him at the other side of the road. n i know he saw me too because he look at me with the you-owe-me kind of look.hehe...brings back old memories and its a stupid one...one dat i always wish to forget.
tomorrow is raya n baba treat us Mc'D today.yes...am enjoying every bite of it since the last time i tasted a nice burger was 3 monts ago.HEAVEN!there's only 5 of us dis season..bro is currently at his in law house.celebrating raya with new environment. hope i can cope next year.i'll captured every moment together with my family dis year...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL...MAY ALLAH BLESS US ALL.MAY WE MEET AGAIN WITH THE HOLY MONTH OF RAMADAN NEXT YEAR.
DIS IS FOR YOU...I HOPE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE RITE NOW.IF YOU WISH TO FORGET US, WE WILL BE GLAD TO FORGET U TOO!
Monday, September 29, 2008
oh...my folks are officially closing their stall at Jalan Gudan Ubat.we produce a lot of memories there.i was there since i was 11 and my lil sis was not even in kindergarten.helping them right after school everyday ha leave me to washed my school uniform everyday just to make sure i came to school with my best state. you know how people work at dining or stall...sambal suka nak mercik2 kat baju sekolah yg putih bersih.i fell a lot of time there..tempat jatuh lg dkenang kan.pernah jugak tdo atas meja just to make sure we'r not late for the national day celebration.it was huge!ramai gile oang...thanx to all your sacrifices mak n baba, we r what we r today.it time for you to take a deep breath live your life at ease.i know u have been though a lot.
its our time now....poor mom, she couldn't let go n cried yesterdayas she was sewing n reminiscing the time from the very moment she started the business..
insyaALLAH....i hope i can perform my duty well as a daughter.i'll make use of this 7 months with you
Sunday, September 28, 2008
i just want to share with you guys today about a story i watched dis afternoon on HBO channel called THE FREEDOM WRITERS. dis story is about a teacher name erin (hillary swank).she teach english to a class where the students are stigmatized as failure. the school is facing greatest war of rasisisme n erin - a white teacher is teaching to a multiracial class consist of african american, latino, cambodian and there is only one white boy in her class.she came to class with just to teach but find it hard one when she found out dat almost all her students are involved with gangs.see...they feel secure to walk around their neighbourhood by joining gangs that can protect them.they don really care bout the education.one of the girl is there because her parol officer forced her to go.
despite the fact that all of her students always makes fun of her - she teach english, she keep on trying.she came to the class the next day by using topac to teach poem!n stating dat day, some of her students listened topac a lot.i hope i can do dat!
she starts a writing journal where all student must write in everyday about what they feel.all of them has a different story.one saw with her mother being abused right before her eyes, many of their family is in prison and all of them are prejudice towards white people,some carried gun just to feel safe n saw his friend died from a gun shot.they believe they are in war, to survive.they don need to come to school n they don see whaeducation can do to thme.erin did not receive any support from the school because her students are drop outs who hardly read thus its useless to supply them with book dat they cannot read.she disagree...
she had to work as a salesgirl to collect the money to buy them a book to read...one of the book called DIARY OF ANNE FRANK.a story of a refugees...a story dat is called to their heart.she works at a hotel to collect money to ake them on a field trip.away from violance.what touches me is one boy lost his home and his spirit to learn .but when he thinks about Erin, he knows there is a place that he can called home.he'll be happy when he is in her class.
erin tried everything...bring them to museum, road trip n such just to make sure they have interest to learn. do you know that the education there are based on cluster?all the curiculum n decision that related to the policy of education is in the hand of the principal.n its not easy to make them agree to all her plan.the school doesnt want to spend money for those hopeless teenager.poor thing eh...the stigma and discrimination is awful.integration is still an issue n black people fighting hard for a place in the society.n she published all the journal her students write into a book call the THE FREEDOM WRITERS.
im no good with review but erin touched every heart in dat class n wish i cud do the same.sacrifice everything just to seek for my pupils attention.did i mention her husband left r because he felt left out?well, not dat i want my husband to leave me but i just need my pupils to understand the reason of me standing in front of them everyday, trying hard to make them understand me n enjoy learning.one day...i hope i can be dat kind of teacher.teacher who inspire n live my pupils dream.amin....
Friday, September 26, 2008
i reach school and still smiling when i remembered the raya card that i wish i can give to my class n 3 additional cards to reply for those yg suka nak pecahkan kaca n gelas.hehe....well, i left them at home.a bit frustrated coz theres always things dat i forgot - may i remind you, today's post will be a bot lengthy.pls bare with me..kuih raya is still coming into bilik guru.haih...sedap jugak kalo dpt beli popia yg comel2 tuh.
ada majlis perpisahan tuk cikgu praktikum..remind me of the memory i had in ayer pa'bas with aesha and all the pupils.i still cherish my first experience of teaching.i tot i was ready back then, but little did i know that it is not easy to work with children.YA ALLAH, I NEED PATIENCE TO PERSUE MY PASSION IN HIS JOURNEY.i cannot let myself down.tp...sometimes rasa penat sgt.whats more bila pikir i still need 2 wait for 2 months for my gaji.2 looooong months.imagine, skang baru end of september.lama betul!dgn kering kontang ni...i hate asking people for money mcm mintak belas kasihan n simpati apatah lg menembah senarai utang!dh 4 bulan xmkn fastfood nih.coklat pon xmampu nak beli..
anyhow...thanx to sk ayer pa'abas for all your support.
then...majlis dteruskan dgn acara memberi duit raya pd murid.i really tot d money is from d school, rupanya cikgu tu personally nak bg and she gives it to ALL pupils.murah rezeki cikgu tu kan.sonok je tgk bebudak beratur, salam for d duit raya.FYI - cikgu tu pakai tudung pink dalam gambar.
its 1110...time for my class with 1S.hehe.....im ready with duit raya and the pupils were called one by one.as i tot....hanya 6 oang saja dpt spell it right!haih..2 minggu, ari2 ulang sunday sampai saturday.xpela...budak2 kan.they are never serious.
i reached home, feeling restless gile, gastric n such...tp xleh nak tdo.as i was watching tv while thinking what kind of teacher i'll be, OPRAH said, one person at a time, that is how we can change the world.yes, maybe if can change myself to be more positive towards the kids, then i can change them. there's one scene that really touch.there were 64% of high school students felt left out becuse of their size, shape n colours.i cried...realizing how i live my life for the past 15 years when i started gaining weight.
as i was crying, in tense of my physical being...received a msg from a fren saying tht she has receive her salary.haih....down!giler!dats when i decided to sleep n not doing anything except watching tv waiting for buka time.i ignored my mother until now and all her nagging. im actually used to it.
tried to sms my fiance...XDER KEDIT PLAK!SENGAL!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
emm...aktiviti masa lapang di bilik guru yg lapang - salain resipi kuih raya dr majalah kak binah.she's cool!selama ni xpenah amik kesempatan bbual ngan seniors kan.maybe because she is in her late 20 thus more like my big sis at home.bila nak buat kuih?next week kot...since im d one left at home.selama ni bila balik dah berbalang kuih siap.a lot of thing is happening, spirit of fasting is fading in our house - sunyi waktu berbuka n bersahur - so...we have to keep THE RAYA spirit strong!lets forget the black sheep.HATE HER!!!
i overheard my parents talking yesterday.they tot i was sleeping...actually,i don. they decided to quit working - no more meniaga for good.my sis said we can support them.yes...its about time rite.they have been through a lot.before we came to segamat..baba did more than one job.never had the chance to meet him.woke up to school, baba is sleeping...when its our sleeping time,baba isn't home yet.tp.. since im staying with them...they don have to worry about the bills,groceries n all.yes...i don mind.but...funny thing is..baba is checking through catalogue for new freezer.hehe...saba eh baba.i'll get u a new one before raya.insyaALLAH...
Friday, September 12, 2008
hari ni sempat buat kuih bahulu...well, just helping mk to fulfill her wishes.suma mak buat kuih tradisional.im waiting for my sis to come home then baru kitaong gerak gempur wat kuih2 oang2 muda nih.hehe...
nothing new in life...nak beli kad raya tuk anak murid pon kena mintak sponsor.I NEED MONEY!today, as i was teaching - alone - as always kalo masuk 1S...i made a silly announcement.heregoes..ESOK, SAPER YG BLEH EJAKAN SUNDAY SAMPAI SATURDAY PD TEACHER, DPT DUIT RAYA.
hei...suddenly i got reaction from the pupils.CIKGU NAK BAGI BAPER? as i was contemplating, i said 50 sen jer. n i heard replies...i repeat REPLIES YER!
ALA, 50 SEN JER.ha...i will not surrender to dis ind of kids eh. KALO AWK XNAK..CIKGU PON XNAK BAGI!HA...SAMBUNG SALIN!
n today, my pupils change my favret poem into javanese version!haha...haih.lotih botul.
well...dats my day today.dada....
i hate debt...tp xkisah kalo ader oang nak pinjam duit - whenever i have the money,mesti sayer tlg tp skang ni oang yg suka nak pinjam duit oang tanpa kebenaran atau nama lain nyer MENCURI!isu duit sgt sensitif sampai ko boleh putus kwn.mcm mana xde duit sekali pon i would never steal from a friend apatah lg bila boleh memburuk kan nama kita - coz it involve third party.
im babling here sbb xpuas hati ngan hamba Allah sorang ni.new probs pop ups everyday...n dis is the worst for the week!
to find the perfect colour
to find the joy and happiness
and sumone to turn to
to go through the spinning wheel of life
to all my bestest bud - u know who u r - n my loves one…i love u guys and zillion of hug and kissess goes to u guys for making my life as it is today…..A COMPLETE WHOLE!
altough i barely shows how much i love you,pls believe me dat i do.i still don have the guts to tell u guys upfront how much i love d othman's.well...dats now how i raised.i know you both have been through a lot and insyaALLAH, i'll make use of the time left for me to be with you both.
whenever baba pick me up at school, rasa cam balik masa sekolah.bezanya....he never pick me up from school before.naik moto..it tooks longer than a car ride tp i cherish the talk while on road.i can't hear u most of the time pn...hehe.
i can only pray dat all your burden will be lighten cause me too is waiting for the end of it.pls hang on...pls..pls.NO MORE TEARS PLS..PLS...I NEED UR STRENGTH TO CONTINUE MY JOURNEY TO!
i tried to be nice...to be patient esp during this fasting month but they don get me!y??can't they stay put and listen and just do their work as told?y can't they do just that?one of my uncle is a secondary teacher..and he found out im teaching in primary school he just said how lucky am i.its is not as hard as those in secondary.well....i admit,my pupils don have discipline problem but i hate myself when im angry.today...i came home from school feeling so tired because 3 of my pupils cried when i ask them to stand outside the class when they giving me the same excuses...CIKGU!SAYER XBAWAK BUKU!dengan gaya sleepy - mata kuyu - tangan dan kepala atas meja.haih...what should i do?
i wish i can be a good teacher.its breaking my heart when one boy from my class said he hates me and he will sepak and lempang me whenever he have the chance.i just told him dat i'll make sure he hates for his entire primary.am i doin it right?ntah...they are very week in class...dahla lemah,suka bermain plak.if there no improvement,the seniors will blame me.they were left with no teachers for the last 4 months n there is nothing i could do to improve - sort of.
the tension increase bila budak dajah 3 from my class spell donkey with DONGKI.what will happen when they goes to year 4?suma budak level one are under my responsibility.
YA ALLAH..IM SEEKING FOR UR GUIDANC.PLS HELP ME THROUGH THIS JOURNEY AHEAD.PLS MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME AND FOR MY PUPILS TO.PLS MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ME AND I, THEM.PLS GIVE ME THE STRENGHT TO WORK TO THE FULLEST, TO GIVE WHATEVER THAT I HAVE.THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT AS I DON HAVE THE RIGHT DO .I CHOOSE TO BE A TEACHER AND I HOPE I CAN CARRY THIS RESPONSIBILITY WITH HONOUR.AMIN...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
hari rabu...we receive a notice on preparing exams questions.i have to prepare questions for all level one pupils.baik...dats our job kan.tp aku blur bila mana mereka kata,cikgu2 sek ni suka potostat je.senang...sek ni pyh skit kalo nak razo -hope i spell it right.baik...mana nak carik duit pototat sebyk 100 over pupils?bukan sehelai tau ketas soklan.they said not all of us can claim the money back..hei,dat doesnt sound right kan.mala nak pk dulu.kna settle the questions first.
back to formality and procedures....OFFER LETTER!its precious..we have to get it done by thursday - dat is today.kalo x..gaji bulan 3.tgh la busy confuse dgn sifat dr sendiri yg agak lemban when it comes to procedures and formality...akak kerani bleh plak kaik gempak tanya aku mana awk punya sijil?kalo xder sayer xleh process.awk dah konvo kan?....aku jwp ah sudah(hari konvo bukan la kenangan terindah aku)...dia plak reply,awk mohon pakai ijazah ke apa?..aku blur.kan dier tau aku amik B.ED.mestila degree tukan..aku pon jawab..a'ah,pakai degree..ha?degree?abih tu asal sini tulis ijazah?
weh?!xsama ke...aku malas nak lyn sbb migrain pk bila plak aku nak amik cert aku tuh.haih...
dtg arini..rupanya bleh jer kalo guna result.untuk tidak menghampakan puan kerani,aku tpaksa mintak tlg gg to collect it for me.gamble...life is a gamble kan.full of drama.thanx gg...thats what frens are for kan.hehe...
im at ease..moe to sleepy.siap tersengguk masa baca yasin.kasik alasan nak pg toilet pas abih baca yasin.huhuu...tgh carik soalan, taip nama pupils(which i should have done ages ago)..isi plak borang temuduga online.hmm...mmg rumit.hanya untuk sahkan jawatan sebagai GURU!
pas abih exam...fail panitia yang karat n berhabuk tu plak nak duruskan.nak wat apa ngan fail kosong tuh?!no idea..
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
hope can get everything settle for the day...ah!lupa plak satu point penting.i got one good news.offer letter dah sampai.meaning to say...salary will be in soon!HAPPY!haih...im so happy that i smile when i sleep in the car.i only got nervous when i reach maktab when mr.segaran said he can't recall me (as expected)....luckily, he is a systematic and dedicated worker..maka terjumpa lah borang kehadiran ku.alhamdulillah....bila jumpa pn.fatimah, she was very soft spoken.langsung xsama mcm dalam fon.she sound sombong mcm pekerja maktab yg lain.well...dis a gud news to Aesha n me,in less than one hour everything is settle.no more worries about having to pay the 300 bills.yahoo!!!
cuma pelik ttg satu perkara.if its true bout what i heard from shark...she receive 2 months or one months ke xsure, elaun praktikal sbb satu form xder tandatangan.but we gave 2 months of our attendance sheet and we did not received a penny.y is dat?emmm.....
neway...today is GREAT AND AWESOME!!!!
its all about the money...
Monday, September 08, 2008
emm..one things that bothered me is just the fact that i had to ride to school.not that i MUST go to school by car...but i prefer to bawak moto sendiri rather than duduk kat belakang.i love the early breeze though..it is so soothing and it makes me smile all the way to school.
school is better now...im used to the environment.ikut cara Mdm.Khaliah,finish your class for the day, sit at your own table and do your work.get involve in a conversation only when you need to.tomorrow, im gonna beautify my class so we can win the prize..hehe.well...just to show that im not that lazy not to care bout my class.harapan tuk menang maybe zero to none sbb kelas yg berkongsi dgn bilik ABM mungkin dah sedia sesak.nothing much that i can do..
im more stable dis week...kesan air klorox dah abis.hehe..dah xsakit perut or pening2 lalat kerana being so cemerkap.
JOM BALIK TIDO!!!