ugly

its not just today...but i have felt dis since i was in school when i started gaining weight.i can't recall when cause im having yo-yo weight when i was in school especially in high school.

whenever i eat something...whoever sits around me would start looking and analyzing my food and start lecturing about what i shud n shud not eat.i appreaciate dat very much...thank you.but what breaks me is how d lecture end.

"jangan kecik ati eh aku/sayer/mak ngah etc ckp ni.esok kalo badan ko berat, dah xleh nak turun lg dah...dah xguna menyesal masa tuh"

n usually, i wud smile n say
"eh...xper.xkisah pon.paham....terima kasih eh ingatkan"

but....what with the synicle look n grin whenever my plate isn't full with food?
dats me...i don eat much or many of whatever.not because im afraid of being fat, im already fat but because i have the right to eat as little as i want.asal nampak makan sikit jer...mesti nak tanya

"eh...mkn sikit.ko diet eh?"

n there goes the lecture again.mkn kena lecture....mkn sikit kena lecture...xmkn pon kena lecture.what irritates me is they keep talking about the same thing.again and again and again....EVERYTIME!
ok...yes.im fat , very fat indeed.don't u think im worried?have u ever heard about bahu yang memikul tu lebih berat dr mata yg melihat?!im not sick being fat but those toughts n talk dat linger around me is really killing me rite now.

salah ke kalo kiter xcantik?salah ke kalo baju yg can fit me well is only baju kurung?salah ke kalo i didnt wear jeans n blouses?i can still commit to work really well...alhamdulillah.so far, xder penyalit bersarang dalam badan yg gemuk ni kecuali a little allergy on my left foot.adding to my ugliness.tp...org xcantik doesnt belong to the community ker?

today

"cantik cikgu hari ni"

hady said.hady is my boy from 1s.n i was smiling when he said dat n replied...thank u while taking my breath.

however, dis is not d reason alone why i am smiling all day today.d truth is...i donno why i was in a good mood today.no gud news were heard after i got a called back for d interview...but, nothing bad is coming my way either.

i manage to do my RPH everyday since school started last week and all went well at home.and im still smiling looking at my LET report file which contains zero minute.hehe....i have to make up for about 20 reports or meeting minute to be send to the PPD.

i guess dis is just d effect of being more optimist in life.be calm n just do what u got to do.

now...sat is a working day but we johorian got monday off for HARI HOL.unfortunately, my husband who works in muar is not getting his monday off.so sayer nak pau dier banja wayang sabtu ni..huahaha.im so excited to see dis

n yeah...tomorrow is pay day.one good reason to keep dat smile!

1st JULY 2009

dis morning my kerani ask me to call d spp again asking about d interview....n it has been like a mont since i last cek my status.aku dah malas asik kena marah ngan oang yg angkat tepon tuh...

but just now....aku terasa nak cek..yerla, dah lama xcek kan.

I GOT CALL BACK!ALHAMDULILLAH.....

back to school

minggu ni sayer bertugas?!bleh la baru tingat bila kuar dr keta n sedang pakai kasut...i have 4 hours a day n kena bertugas n da same time.ha...kena plak ader budak berak2..dajah 4 plak tuh.huhu...

today was a .........(bunyik cengkerik) quiet day at school.ramai giler cikgu xder sampai sayer juga kena relieve kan satu kelas.nasib baik today was a light day for me.relax...relax.but seriously, the parking lot was half empty, as well as the staff room.(sila bayangkan pekan koboi yg ader daun kering terbang2).n everytime i pass by the office, the gb was so delightedly talking about her trip to aussie.okeh....

esok ader kelas 2s!arrgghhh.....
i miss en.kamal already.hate being far sbb dier xsuka msg n call.so i need to be with him to be able to 'communicte'.no mood for nothing rite now....

summary

time flies kan?yela...if it stop,means we're dead.but seriously....it flies so fast sampai xpasan dah nak abih pon cuti 2minggu ni.

im spending my cuti in muar...pg, siapkan sarapan, tgh hari siapkan lunch, ptg siapkan dinner or tea plak.sampaikan msg2 dr zai mesti ader soklan..."tgh masak ker".hehe...well, xderla sepanjang masa mask.tp...sonok jer rasa menguruskan rumah tangga ni.cuma...will it be dis exciting bila dok penang nanti?kami mungkin dh xberdua.duduk plak bukan dgn kuarga sayer....die, mestila happy slalu.dasatkan?blom pon duduk di penang tp dah rasa home sick tuh.

home sick?will i feel sick being away from home?coz now i don.i had a quarrel with my sis last tues yg sampai skang masih mmberi kesan n i still feel mcm nak dok muar ni n xbalik sampai perasaan lega.tp...kita bukan budak2 kan?if u don want to talk to me...find.nasib baik dah ader suami.i can run to him.xpyh susah2 pk mana nak lari lg...

bila d muar plak...nak adjust dok ngan sorang laki yg membesar dengan cara yg berbeza juga boleh mengguris hati yer.hehe...sensitif sgt ker saya?tp...im happy.overwhelmed...still.im learning something new about me, him n life everyday.while kemaskan his messy comic collections ...tnampak drawing of faces.he draws!n i just knew it....dier cuma suka mkn ikan goreng ngan sambal.senang kan?tp dier masih complicated sbb xnak makan nasik kenduri sbb xdjemput n dier xmembantu...complicated kan?tp dier masih membantu...duduk ddapor, bbual masa saye masak...cuma boring when he started to play his football manager.liverpool dah nak bankrap pulak tuh.besungguh jer die main...

well....sorry.my life revolve only around him dis 2 weeks.jd...cerita pon mestila ttg en suami kan?leka sampai kejer sekolah pon xsiap lg.sboa baru abihkan masuk nama jer....markah lom lg.buku adab cuma sempat tampal n sign jer, yg lain kena tunggu balik sekolah baru bleh siapkan.arini dah kamis...n esok will be friday.he'll be going back to penang alone sbb if i were to go, kena balik tgesa2 since isnin dah kejer.haih...

i guess dats it.xderla summary sgt pon...tp mmg ini saja yg sayer buat sepanjang cuti.membiasakan diri menjadi suri en kamal ariffin..
i got to go n get ready to melaka...dier nak tgk lisa surihani.huhu

CAN'T BELIEVE DAH NAK ABIH CUTI!!!DUIT PON DAH NAK ABIH...HUHU

cuti lg

dah cuti sekolah...sayer suka tp rasa mcm dis holiday will pass mcm tu jer.i got no plans....tp teringin sgt nak jln2..