ugly

its not just today...but i have felt dis since i was in school when i started gaining weight.i can't recall when cause im having yo-yo weight when i was in school especially in high school.

whenever i eat something...whoever sits around me would start looking and analyzing my food and start lecturing about what i shud n shud not eat.i appreaciate dat very much...thank you.but what breaks me is how d lecture end.

"jangan kecik ati eh aku/sayer/mak ngah etc ckp ni.esok kalo badan ko berat, dah xleh nak turun lg dah...dah xguna menyesal masa tuh"

n usually, i wud smile n say
"eh...xper.xkisah pon.paham....terima kasih eh ingatkan"

but....what with the synicle look n grin whenever my plate isn't full with food?
dats me...i don eat much or many of whatever.not because im afraid of being fat, im already fat but because i have the right to eat as little as i want.asal nampak makan sikit jer...mesti nak tanya

"eh...mkn sikit.ko diet eh?"

n there goes the lecture again.mkn kena lecture....mkn sikit kena lecture...xmkn pon kena lecture.what irritates me is they keep talking about the same thing.again and again and again....EVERYTIME!
ok...yes.im fat , very fat indeed.don't u think im worried?have u ever heard about bahu yang memikul tu lebih berat dr mata yg melihat?!im not sick being fat but those toughts n talk dat linger around me is really killing me rite now.

salah ke kalo kiter xcantik?salah ke kalo baju yg can fit me well is only baju kurung?salah ke kalo i didnt wear jeans n blouses?i can still commit to work really well...alhamdulillah.so far, xder penyalit bersarang dalam badan yg gemuk ni kecuali a little allergy on my left foot.adding to my ugliness.tp...org xcantik doesnt belong to the community ker?