matlamat

i can't sleep.sbb adam kena gigit seekor nyamuk jahat membuatkan dia menangis.FYI..dia menangis menjerit.adik pon tjaga.huhu

so...i read an article entitled perancangan menjadi isteri n matlamat kita sebagai wanita muslimah atau isteri solehah la kan.yg initially dapat menyumbang kepada kemajuan ummah.

terus tfikir apa matlamat sy?
from primary, secondary n of course tertiary i always know im gonna or might be ateacher although i love to say that ONE DAY IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR.turns out im not good enough to be a doctor.im a mediacore. x cemerlang tp juga x gagal.
n now yes...im a teacher.i love teaching but i still - not to say fail but not yet touch anybody's heart.a great teacher could do that.maybe when i can control my temper better..i would be one too.

but what else?im not yet succeed as a murabbi...
belum juga cemerlang sebagau isteri kerana sy masih rasa perkahwinan kami masih baru.kami blom dpt selesaikan masalah komunikasi antara kami.n dat is major sbb kurang komunikasi menyebabkan kami kurang merancang masa depan.for now, we are going with the flow.masa depan meaning...rumah, financial etc.
we are facing financial difficulty now n not sure about 3 years from now apatah lg 20 thn akan datang.

again...apa matlamat sy?khasnya sbg muslim...
sy pernah dgr seorg pengacara tv Alhijrah kata - orang yg selalu mengeluh kebosanan ni, xder matlamat -
bleh dkatakan sy menjalani hidup by day.tp mengharungi hari dengan menanti apa yg akan blaku pd hari tsebut.bkn merancang...jd dah gagal mencari matlamat dsitukan?mcm mana dengan masa depan?masa depan sy sendiri?nak sambung blaja ke?terus jd guru biasa ke?then...what about anak2?haih...nak kata nak amik one step at a time, rasa mcm masa dah suntuk sgt dah.dek kerana gagal merancnag matlamat...byk yg telah sy bazirkan.

cranky ain

haih...mind u.i have to start this entry with a sigh coz from 5 dis afternoon until this moment ain is still 'resah - xtentu-hala'
how eh?

im handling my newborn like i never have the experience.i feel like crying all the time n i lose my temper easily.n if i do...i tend to ignore her crying n shut down for a few sec.i noe its bad.i sound like an unfit mother but...ok there is no but coz yeah, baby cries.adam does not1i mean...he cried but not a lot like ain.adam was one calm baby.he woke up with a beautiful smile n he usually play on his own.

i know it unfair for me to differentiate both of them.it proves that no baby is alike.n i don have the experience handling cranky baby.n i donno how to explain to the babysitter that going to look after her when i go to work which is in less than 4 weeks.she doesnt have a routine.she refuse to obey to any routine!books always tells u dat parents are the one who should set routine for their baby...but if they don want to follow routine?but wait...she has routine!cry dat is.huhu

mood : numb!

sbb?

i promise myself - walau apa pon jd, ain xkan dberi puting.tp dah bg.cumanya...she rejected it n cry louder sometimes.

a mother of two!

im back in jawi.has been 2 weeks really n i can't believe how time flies.

it is not easy to take care n manage 2 babies alone.huhu...n since we got here, ain has turn into a cranky lil girl.she cries, sometimes for no reason (or i can't identified the reason).she barely sleeps during the day but she refuse to just lay on the mattress.unlike her bro..well, no baby is d same aite.so..im still figuring her.n maybe she does too.hehe..its ok.just make sure u grow up healthy mummy's precious!n dat include u Adam.

adam is still in denial.still asking 'who is dat baby?why is she on mummy's lap?dat's my spot!'
he cries when ain does.n cling on me whenever possible(when ain is asleep that is).so...he finds it hard to take his afternoon nap but luckily both throws their tantrums during d day n soundly asleep during the night.

so...i only manage to do house chores during the night or maybe early morning where things are more at ease sbb both of them wakes up a little late kan.i don like the tense..but im coping.hopefully...insyaAllah.as im typing this, there are two basket of laundry waiting to be fold n keep.mothers...how did u do it?!

n..i can't think about jalan2 or window shopping or even eating out.can't n won't put the blame on the babies.sementara nak tunggu ain adjust, apa salahnya ibu n abah spend more time together at home kan?maybe that way we can work on our communication skills.

muahxxxsss to my babies.ibu loves u so much!

SKKT

SKKT stands for Sek Kebangsaan Kg.Tengah.

tempat posting pertama n byk benda gak la belajar kat sini.Tahun pertama kat sini, bujang..tahun kedua, im a wife then tahun ketiga, im a mother.hehe...

alhamdulillah...masih mengekalkan silaturahim dengan colleagues kat sana.sek nya kecik tp cikgu2 suma bersemangat.xderla cikgu yg kaki ngulor.n kerjasama pon baik..xpernah rasa stress pg kerja melainkan dengan anak2 murid jer la.

tp sek baru...ntahlah.
mcm hilang semangat.hilang fokus...hilang matlamat.

selalu tpatah semangat.jd malas...

summary

uish..been on pause long enough.

im not a writer.hence...no regular updates.

since my last post..

1)been on first family vacay to Langkawi.no pic coz im not into it really.maybe lepas ni kena suka amik2 gambar ni.baru ader kenangan.

2)still a teacher..haha

3)gave birth to my 2nd child
*a girl (ain zahirah binti kamal ariffin)
*DOB :5th march 2012
*now weight 3.5kg

see...not much has been going on.same old, same old.
hope i can write something uplifting every time i hit the keyboard but life is just..MONO.

mak menti

ok..nak taip ni pon dah tbayang.

smlm, tgh nak cebok adam...nampak la dia dalam bilik air disimbah dek sabun sbb tgh basuh kain.x tpk plak nak tutup pintu bilik air tuh!
ingatkan bila tgh hari tu tgk dia xder...dia dahkuar blik kut lubang dia masuk.rupanya...dia dah lari masuk dlm bilik.

mlm tuh...nak buat jejemput la....nampak dia blari, terus tkaku.adam pon tgh balari main bola masa tu.nagn mak menti tu lintang pukang pegi balik2 sbb dia ingat adam kejar dia.adam plak bleh tgelak2 aku dengan serius panggil dia masuk bilik.aduh...

pintu bilik belakang tu tertutup.ingatkan dia xleh masuk.sekali, eh......dia menyelit baikkkk punya.skang ni xtau dia katner sbb dlm bilik tu bahagian bawah suma bkaki togel.xder yg boleh jd tempat dia menyorok.suami dah pasang perangkap dah...ntah bila dia nak kuar ntah

kesinambungan ....

kesinambungan dari kisah cikgu buat kolam semalam...

al-kisah...i confronted him yesterday because balik2 dr minum air gula tuh, my GPK x buat relief for my class sbb dia kata xcukup cikgu.9 orang xder di sekolah.n i can still see cikgu berkenaan di KOLAM!

dengan lapanya sampai shivering la jugak sbb puasa dr malam,and at that point dah pukul 11 lebih..kantin plak doesn't serve any food sbb air tarak.lg ah menggigil.

tgh dok jaga budak peksa, kelas sebelah plak xder cikgu.ust bahasa arab dia xmasuk.
bila tanya2 keberadaan dia...upanya g makan.ha...x tambah gigil?habis masa je...terus masuk bilik guru, meluahkan apa yg ada.masuk je cikgu buat kolam tuh...segera ah aku tanya.

kenapa cikgu nak buat kolam masa sekolah?
kenapa cikgu xnak dtg masa weekend ke...minggu depan kan cuti seminggu.
urgent sgt ke kolam tuh sampai kena relief kelas?sy pg hospital pon oang xbuat relief.

jawapan dia :
sy cuma ikut arahan oang atas.
sy dah ckp cuti2 ni sy xnak dtg sekolah(byk cantik muka ko!jd cikgu ni mmg kena sacrifice waktu cuti kalo nak di cop pekerja cemerlang.)

dengan statement dia ni...kesimpulan aku, GB aku tuh mmg agak mengong.

sekian.